Thursday, February 05, 2004
Alas a blog has a really good comments section. I found this moving. I don't agree with his/her political opinions, but the personal stuff I can relate to. It's long, and this is just an excerpt. I don't know how to do the
< click here for more > trick. Added the blog to my blogroll, which is slowly growing. I don't know how to work comments either, maybe i should check haloscan.
As for the supporters, I don't hang around with them, and I stopped reading comments in blogs long ago. In truth, there are two blogs I read comments on: this one and Body and Soul, because I find the people don't get into petty arguments in these two places, there are no "First Posts!", conspiracy theories don't get bandied about, etc. I am probably the most abrasive poster on both of the blogs, and I don't think of myself as particularly abrasive, but more needy and high-maintenance (as I seem to have proven again, which I can never apologize enough for leading you to write such an overwhelming rationalization for your feelings on Dean and the other candidates and their respective camp-followers). I am sorry that I somehow made you feel you needed to respond to me, because I'm so far out of the mainstream, I am on the beach.
I'm sure you are totally correct in all of your statements, and I am not going to argue with you about them, because I really don't know all that much, and even if I did, I wouldn't be able to state it well, so why bother? In truth, I really didn't understand a good portion of what you wrote, because it was over my head.
Basically, I feel like the world I currently live in is trying to kill me and I don't have the energy or ability to stop it, and I am crying out for something to change. I read that the Democratic party is going to "hit back" just as hard as the Republican party is during this election, fight just as dirty, do whatever it takes. That they have whole teams of character assassins working day and night. I can't live in that world, and I fear that when whichever Democratic candidate makes it into the white house is going to be just as scuzzy as the current group. Not to say that they are Republican-lite's either, but that their hearts will be hardened. They'll have made promises to be tough on crime, tough on the poor, tough on those who don't pull their weight. Clinton did so much damage to the poor, to QTBLG people, and we are basically looking for another Clinton. A Clinton will cut back on services for the poor and disabled just as quickly as a Bush will, as was proven over the last ten and more years.
I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore, I'm just so sad and I fear for humanity that we have lost our compassion. I don't see how the cycle of human disaster is ever going to end. I haven't heard any campaign promises except that they are going to make things better for the children. Makes me wish I were a child again, to be pandered to so much. Nobody panders to the disabled or the homeless. Nobody cares. We are the unsolvable problems. Even when they build low-income housing, they build it so the working-poor can afford it, but not the disabled or the homeless.
For instance, the low-income housing group here where I live has apartments that start at $400 a month. Which is great. Totally affordable for someone on a low income. However, I get a check from the state for $339 every month, from which I am supposed to pay for housing, utilities, basically anything that isn't food, and I get $140 for food every month. That's a little over $30 a week for food. Which is enough to buy some bread and a few other items. I'm disabled, so I can't just drive down to Wal-Mart and buy the industrial barrel of rice and beans, and even if I could, I can't prepare it myself. Toast is hard enough to prepare.
I really do believe that whoever the Dem president is will make live better for the middle class, no doubt about it. And maybe for the working poor, but Dems don't have a great record on helping the working poor (see Bowling for Columbine). Dems will likely revoke as many of the corporate and wealthy person giveaways as they are able to, and that's a good thing. If they manage to implement health care for everyone, that'd be great. One of the best things I get is Medicaid which is the greatest thing in the entire world. I spend thousands of dollars a month, a large portion of that on medications, but also on doctor visits (I have like five different doctors with the promise of more on the way) and they don't get paid full rate when they accept a Medicaid patient, they have to eat the rest of the costs themselves, so there are a lot of places that don't take Medicaid, or if they do, they take a limited number, or have special days that they reserve for Medicaid people and the rest of the days for people who actually make them money.
I totally want other people to get what they need, and if I have to suffer so someone else can get what they need, I am willing to suffer. Other than Medicaid, I don't feel like I am being a huge burden on society. I was hugely productive while I wasn't physically disabled, even while I was mentally unstable -- in fact, it was probably my mental instability that allowed me to work so hard. The results of my work are still alive today, making people who read them happy, making money for my friends and ex-business partners, so I feel like I've contributed to society. But even if I hadn't, I don't feel that it is ethically, morally, spiritually (whatever is your driving inner-force) good for people to let the under-underclass rot away. I don't see any of the current crop of politicians of any stripe coming to my and our aid.
But, as important as that is to me, even if Bush announced and paid for (cause he has this habit of announcing things and then not paying for them) all disabled people to live in a beautiful home or condo with a view of the mountains, lobster dinners every night, visitors every day who would come to read to us and be our friends and not abandon us, the best medical care available, super-high tech stuff, and I could call today and have a limousine come pick me up and bring me to the appointment the very next day. I *still* wouldn't vote for that murdering, lying, war-profiteering bastard. Cause my life isn't worth 20,000 or so Iraqi lives, and the possibility of an upcoming civil war which will take many more lives, or even just the inhumane way we treat the people there. It's not worth it. And believe me when I tell you that it would be a very very tempting offer.
So, we may not agree on words, but we agree in principle in a general way about human rights and how important that is, and that pretty much trumps all the rest of the garbage which is nothing more than a side show compared to what is really important.
Thank you, PinkDreamPoppies, for taking me seriously. Something which only a handful of people have ever done in my life. You have given me a gift that is rare and very precious.
Posted by Ananna at February 5, 2004 03:29 AM
I responded:
Ananna, I found your comments moving. I copied part of that to my blog at http://vark.blogspot.com, and added alas a blog to the links there.
I don't have to agree with your politics to relate to your experience. I think looking to the government for compassion is misplaced; it would make no less sense to look to the mafia. If there's compassion to be found, it's at places like this one, where people come together by free choice to form community. We are in transition to a post-scarcity economy. You and I might be poor by the materialist standards, but there's a wealth of information and interaction here online.
How can we help each other?
< click here for more > trick. Added the blog to my blogroll, which is slowly growing. I don't know how to work comments either, maybe i should check haloscan.
As for the supporters, I don't hang around with them, and I stopped reading comments in blogs long ago. In truth, there are two blogs I read comments on: this one and Body and Soul, because I find the people don't get into petty arguments in these two places, there are no "First Posts!", conspiracy theories don't get bandied about, etc. I am probably the most abrasive poster on both of the blogs, and I don't think of myself as particularly abrasive, but more needy and high-maintenance (as I seem to have proven again, which I can never apologize enough for leading you to write such an overwhelming rationalization for your feelings on Dean and the other candidates and their respective camp-followers). I am sorry that I somehow made you feel you needed to respond to me, because I'm so far out of the mainstream, I am on the beach.
I'm sure you are totally correct in all of your statements, and I am not going to argue with you about them, because I really don't know all that much, and even if I did, I wouldn't be able to state it well, so why bother? In truth, I really didn't understand a good portion of what you wrote, because it was over my head.
Basically, I feel like the world I currently live in is trying to kill me and I don't have the energy or ability to stop it, and I am crying out for something to change. I read that the Democratic party is going to "hit back" just as hard as the Republican party is during this election, fight just as dirty, do whatever it takes. That they have whole teams of character assassins working day and night. I can't live in that world, and I fear that when whichever Democratic candidate makes it into the white house is going to be just as scuzzy as the current group. Not to say that they are Republican-lite's either, but that their hearts will be hardened. They'll have made promises to be tough on crime, tough on the poor, tough on those who don't pull their weight. Clinton did so much damage to the poor, to QTBLG people, and we are basically looking for another Clinton. A Clinton will cut back on services for the poor and disabled just as quickly as a Bush will, as was proven over the last ten and more years.
I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore, I'm just so sad and I fear for humanity that we have lost our compassion. I don't see how the cycle of human disaster is ever going to end. I haven't heard any campaign promises except that they are going to make things better for the children. Makes me wish I were a child again, to be pandered to so much. Nobody panders to the disabled or the homeless. Nobody cares. We are the unsolvable problems. Even when they build low-income housing, they build it so the working-poor can afford it, but not the disabled or the homeless.
For instance, the low-income housing group here where I live has apartments that start at $400 a month. Which is great. Totally affordable for someone on a low income. However, I get a check from the state for $339 every month, from which I am supposed to pay for housing, utilities, basically anything that isn't food, and I get $140 for food every month. That's a little over $30 a week for food. Which is enough to buy some bread and a few other items. I'm disabled, so I can't just drive down to Wal-Mart and buy the industrial barrel of rice and beans, and even if I could, I can't prepare it myself. Toast is hard enough to prepare.
I really do believe that whoever the Dem president is will make live better for the middle class, no doubt about it. And maybe for the working poor, but Dems don't have a great record on helping the working poor (see Bowling for Columbine). Dems will likely revoke as many of the corporate and wealthy person giveaways as they are able to, and that's a good thing. If they manage to implement health care for everyone, that'd be great. One of the best things I get is Medicaid which is the greatest thing in the entire world. I spend thousands of dollars a month, a large portion of that on medications, but also on doctor visits (I have like five different doctors with the promise of more on the way) and they don't get paid full rate when they accept a Medicaid patient, they have to eat the rest of the costs themselves, so there are a lot of places that don't take Medicaid, or if they do, they take a limited number, or have special days that they reserve for Medicaid people and the rest of the days for people who actually make them money.
I totally want other people to get what they need, and if I have to suffer so someone else can get what they need, I am willing to suffer. Other than Medicaid, I don't feel like I am being a huge burden on society. I was hugely productive while I wasn't physically disabled, even while I was mentally unstable -- in fact, it was probably my mental instability that allowed me to work so hard. The results of my work are still alive today, making people who read them happy, making money for my friends and ex-business partners, so I feel like I've contributed to society. But even if I hadn't, I don't feel that it is ethically, morally, spiritually (whatever is your driving inner-force) good for people to let the under-underclass rot away. I don't see any of the current crop of politicians of any stripe coming to my and our aid.
But, as important as that is to me, even if Bush announced and paid for (cause he has this habit of announcing things and then not paying for them) all disabled people to live in a beautiful home or condo with a view of the mountains, lobster dinners every night, visitors every day who would come to read to us and be our friends and not abandon us, the best medical care available, super-high tech stuff, and I could call today and have a limousine come pick me up and bring me to the appointment the very next day. I *still* wouldn't vote for that murdering, lying, war-profiteering bastard. Cause my life isn't worth 20,000 or so Iraqi lives, and the possibility of an upcoming civil war which will take many more lives, or even just the inhumane way we treat the people there. It's not worth it. And believe me when I tell you that it would be a very very tempting offer.
So, we may not agree on words, but we agree in principle in a general way about human rights and how important that is, and that pretty much trumps all the rest of the garbage which is nothing more than a side show compared to what is really important.
Thank you, PinkDreamPoppies, for taking me seriously. Something which only a handful of people have ever done in my life. You have given me a gift that is rare and very precious.
Posted by Ananna at February 5, 2004 03:29 AM
I responded:
Ananna, I found your comments moving. I copied part of that to my blog at http://vark.blogspot.com, and added alas a blog to the links there.
I don't have to agree with your politics to relate to your experience. I think looking to the government for compassion is misplaced; it would make no less sense to look to the mafia. If there's compassion to be found, it's at places like this one, where people come together by free choice to form community. We are in transition to a post-scarcity economy. You and I might be poor by the materialist standards, but there's a wealth of information and interaction here online.
How can we help each other?
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