Saturday, May 15, 2004
How to cook a Texan.
Chapter 1.
Low and Slow
This is a derivative work, one i am afraid will be mistaken for satire. some rights reserved. all liability disclaimed.
As promised, here is the post on smoking a Texan on your backyard grill. If I leave any questions unanswered (or if anything is unclear), improvise.
Cooking a texan on the backyard grill requires dedication. It requires a fairly constant, but low, temperature, and it requires a lot of time. "Low and Slow" - this phrase will become your mantra. If you are not prepared to spend the better part of a day monitoring your grill, then this is not the project for you. Please note that monitoring the grill does not require that you abstain from all other activity. In fact, polishing off several beers is the ideal activity to pair with barbequing a texan.
Note that I assume the reader has a basic familiarity with his or her backyard grill, how to clean it, how to build a fire, how to regulate its cooking temperature with the vents, etc.
Also note that I have included two recipes - one for the dry rub and the other for barbeque sauce - at the end of the post.
Backyard texan, the lowdown.
Choose a young, full grown texan. Cut from the breast section of a side of long pig, the flat and the point. The flat is the larger section. It is wide, flat (duh) and can be served sliced on a sandwich or sliced and piled high on the plate. The point section overlaps the flat. It is fattier and contains a great deal of connective tissue. It tends not to slice as well as the flat. The point is usually served chopped. Oh, and the point section is pointy (but I bet you already knew that).
Texans are tough and it has to be cooked past well done in order to be edible. It needs to reach an internal temperature of at least 180 degrees F and somewhere closer to 210 degrees is best. Otherwise, it is a chewy inedible abomination. That sounds crazy but it's true. The reason is that he is full of tough connective tissue (collagen). You must cook the carrion at a high enough temperature so that the collagen which runs throughout the muscle converts to gelatin. Collagen begins to convert to gelatin at around 130 degrees but this conversion is much more rapid at around 180-200 degrees. "Low and slow" cooking - 225-250 degrees for several hours - is the ideal method to facilitate this conversion.
Preparing the body.
Look for one in the 8-12 pound range. Anything larger will likely be too large to manage in a standard backyard grill. When you get it home, rinse it with cool water, pat it dry with paper towels, and trim the large section of fat over the point. Do not trim it completely off - you need to leave some fat to keep the corpse moist through the long cooking process. Just trim the fat to an even 1/8 to 1/4 inch layer. Next, apply a small amount of extra virgin olive oil to your hands and then rub the dry rub (see recipe, below) into the body.* Really massage the rub into the meat ("rub" - get it?). Once you have a good coat of dry rub on the flesh, wrap it tightly in plastic wrap and place it on a baking sheet in the refrigerator. Let it sit for at least 2 hours, preferably 24 hours (or up to 2 days).
*There are some "purists" who use only salt and pepper as a rub. If you want to be a snob about it, then go right ahead. But it is not heresy to use a dry rub on brisket.
Preparing the grill
Once you rustle up a body make sure you pick up some wood chunks to add smoke to your fire and flavor to the meat. Mesquite is the preferred wood. If you cannot find mesquite chunks I suppose you can use hickory. Honestly, though, find some mesquite. Hell, even the Wal-Mart carries mesquite chunks.
Before firing up the grill, you must attend to several other items. First, the wood chunks need to be thoroughly soaked in water (otherwise they will burn). Put several handfuls of wood chunks in a bucket and cover them in water for at least an hour. I usually do this step first and then remove the corpse from the refrigerator. The wood chunks soak while the brisket comes up to room temperature. In the meantime, fill your cooler, grab your lawn chair and find a comfortable place to sit and watch the grill.
You also need to assemble the rest of your cooking tools. For charcoal grills, this includes a chimney starter, charcoal (I like to use the all natural wood charcoal, but remember that it burns hotter than charcoal briquettes), meat thermometer (bonus points if your grill is also equipped with a thermometer), and heat resistant gloves (welder's gloves are nice for this purpose). For gas grills, obviously you can omit the charcoal and chimney starter. Let me say that while a gas grill will work it is not the ideal tool for such a purpose. However, if gas is what you have, then use it. Just consult your grill instructions on smoking wood chips and adjust accordingly.
this is too long already. chapter II only on request.
if i knew how to do those "more" thingies, i would with this post.
Chapter 1.
Low and Slow
This is a derivative work, one i am afraid will be mistaken for satire. some rights reserved. all liability disclaimed.
As promised, here is the post on smoking a Texan on your backyard grill. If I leave any questions unanswered (or if anything is unclear), improvise.
Cooking a texan on the backyard grill requires dedication. It requires a fairly constant, but low, temperature, and it requires a lot of time. "Low and Slow" - this phrase will become your mantra. If you are not prepared to spend the better part of a day monitoring your grill, then this is not the project for you. Please note that monitoring the grill does not require that you abstain from all other activity. In fact, polishing off several beers is the ideal activity to pair with barbequing a texan.
Note that I assume the reader has a basic familiarity with his or her backyard grill, how to clean it, how to build a fire, how to regulate its cooking temperature with the vents, etc.
Also note that I have included two recipes - one for the dry rub and the other for barbeque sauce - at the end of the post.
Backyard texan, the lowdown.
Choose a young, full grown texan. Cut from the breast section of a side of long pig, the flat and the point. The flat is the larger section. It is wide, flat (duh) and can be served sliced on a sandwich or sliced and piled high on the plate. The point section overlaps the flat. It is fattier and contains a great deal of connective tissue. It tends not to slice as well as the flat. The point is usually served chopped. Oh, and the point section is pointy (but I bet you already knew that).
Texans are tough and it has to be cooked past well done in order to be edible. It needs to reach an internal temperature of at least 180 degrees F and somewhere closer to 210 degrees is best. Otherwise, it is a chewy inedible abomination. That sounds crazy but it's true. The reason is that he is full of tough connective tissue (collagen). You must cook the carrion at a high enough temperature so that the collagen which runs throughout the muscle converts to gelatin. Collagen begins to convert to gelatin at around 130 degrees but this conversion is much more rapid at around 180-200 degrees. "Low and slow" cooking - 225-250 degrees for several hours - is the ideal method to facilitate this conversion.
Preparing the body.
Look for one in the 8-12 pound range. Anything larger will likely be too large to manage in a standard backyard grill. When you get it home, rinse it with cool water, pat it dry with paper towels, and trim the large section of fat over the point. Do not trim it completely off - you need to leave some fat to keep the corpse moist through the long cooking process. Just trim the fat to an even 1/8 to 1/4 inch layer. Next, apply a small amount of extra virgin olive oil to your hands and then rub the dry rub (see recipe, below) into the body.* Really massage the rub into the meat ("rub" - get it?). Once you have a good coat of dry rub on the flesh, wrap it tightly in plastic wrap and place it on a baking sheet in the refrigerator. Let it sit for at least 2 hours, preferably 24 hours (or up to 2 days).
*There are some "purists" who use only salt and pepper as a rub. If you want to be a snob about it, then go right ahead. But it is not heresy to use a dry rub on brisket.
Preparing the grill
Once you rustle up a body make sure you pick up some wood chunks to add smoke to your fire and flavor to the meat. Mesquite is the preferred wood. If you cannot find mesquite chunks I suppose you can use hickory. Honestly, though, find some mesquite. Hell, even the Wal-Mart carries mesquite chunks.
Before firing up the grill, you must attend to several other items. First, the wood chunks need to be thoroughly soaked in water (otherwise they will burn). Put several handfuls of wood chunks in a bucket and cover them in water for at least an hour. I usually do this step first and then remove the corpse from the refrigerator. The wood chunks soak while the brisket comes up to room temperature. In the meantime, fill your cooler, grab your lawn chair and find a comfortable place to sit and watch the grill.
You also need to assemble the rest of your cooking tools. For charcoal grills, this includes a chimney starter, charcoal (I like to use the all natural wood charcoal, but remember that it burns hotter than charcoal briquettes), meat thermometer (bonus points if your grill is also equipped with a thermometer), and heat resistant gloves (welder's gloves are nice for this purpose). For gas grills, obviously you can omit the charcoal and chimney starter. Let me say that while a gas grill will work it is not the ideal tool for such a purpose. However, if gas is what you have, then use it. Just consult your grill instructions on smoking wood chips and adjust accordingly.
this is too long already. chapter II only on request.
if i knew how to do those "more" thingies, i would with this post.
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